Wednesday, August 22, 2018

5 Letting Go Rituals for Women in Transition

Spinning Your Gold  Blog: Words that Open Hearts and Inspire Actions

It’s never too late in life to edit or revise.” -Nancy Thayer

It seems that many women believe this if you witness the explosive growth of solo-preneurs, coaches, and authors! My hometown area of Tampa Bay, Florida, boasts the largest number of women entrepreneurs in the state which is one of the most entrepreneurial states in the nation. The new, bright red cover on my school calendar echoes Nancy’s belief with this quote:

It’s never too late to be what you might have been.” -George Eliot

All this is to confirm that if you are not feeling blessed and blissed out with your life then, please…Edit. Revise. Change!

Are any of these a part of your life with: 
* New projects or efforts that disappoint?
* Vampire relationships that drain?
* Expectations that exhaust? 
* Schedules that overwhelm? 
* Work that demeans?
* Unmet dreams that depress?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, there is a solution.

Here are the seven most important words you may ever hear:

"When the horse is dead, get off!"

While research credits “Anonymous” with this quote, I first heard it years ago from Rosita Perez, a talented professional speaker. Sadly, she's left her "earthly suit" though her inspiration remains.

So with an open heart, make a conscious assessment of what dead horses you’re trying to still ride and be willing to take inspired actions--all key to your spiritual and emotional growth. 

You can’t start a new journey if you’re carrying heavy baggage or dragging garbage along.  In fact, you can be downright stinky after riding that dead horse—and the possible reason why abundance, happiness, and health are avoiding you!

Once you're off that dead horse, what next? The first step is to engage in letting go rituals. 

Why are rituals important? Francesca Gino and Michael I. Norton in Scientific American explained, “While anthropologists have documented rituals across cultures, this earlier research has been primarily observational. Recently, a series of investigations by psychologists have revealed intriguing new results demonstrating that rituals can have a causal impact on people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Here are 5 Letting Go Rituals for Women in Transition:

1) Alphabet List
This is a good starting place to identify the “names” of the dead horses you’re riding. Find a quiet place free of noises and distractions. Bring your journal and a pen. Then ask yourself, “WHAT who do I need to let go of that no longer serves me?

Allow the answers to come. Go through the alphabet. Keep your hand moving. Don’t judge what you are writing. If you get stuck on one alphabet letter and can’t think of anything, move on. Then, return to it.

Then repeat, only this time ask, “WHO do I need let go of that no longer serves me?

You may want to repeat this writing process; it’s guaranteed to identify existing and new information. You can then use your Alphabet List with the…

2) Pencil Drop
This is a simple, active practice that Judy McNutt, a visionary writing sister, and healer, used in our coaching session. She invited me to think of the thought I wanted to drop. 

Then she asked me to hold that specific thought in my mind while breathing and holding a pencil in one hand. 

Her next instruction was, “Just drop the pencil! Let it go. Let the thought go.” Repeat as necessary. 

This might be a daily ritual while online and reading negative information--or as thoughts of larger issues with your transition surface. If letting go still remains challenging, then consider the…

Facing Machu Picchu, "Old Mountain", 2008 -Not behind me!
3) Peruvian with Love, with Release Ritual
Before taking any rock or shell, I follow a sacred ritual, asking the Pachamama or Mother Earth if it is "okay" for me to take the rock or shell with me. Several times the answer was a clear "NO."

This ritual process of first asking was taught to me by Don Jorge Luis Delgado, my shaman co-leader in 2008. He shared that the Andean people believed that we are one with the earth and everything is sacred: the rocks, rivers, animals, birds, plants, trees, and especially the mountains. 

To take something from the earth without thoughtful reflection would have been inappropriate. Happily, the Pachamama said "yes" to a small handful of rocks that did make their way home to Florida for ceremonial use.

Rocks are used for releasing what Don Jorge calls "dark, heavy energies." Try breathing into a special rock three times, saying, "I release all feelings of _____ (name of an emotion) about_____ (name of a person, thing, and event)." Then move or toss the rock to another place. 
You’re encouraged to do this near a body of water.  

Be conscious of your actions. Never underestimate the power of natural treasures you may find and always ask, "Dear Pachamama (Mother Earth), is this rock, shell or leaf okay for me to take?"

4) Monkey Trap Jar
Do you know how they trap a monkey in the forest? I learned about this method while living in Honduras where many small monkeys are trapped and sold as pets. Trappers place a favorite food in a small-necked glass jar on the ground. 

When the monkey tries to pull its hand out, it is stuck! The now clenched fist around the treat makes the withdrawal through the opening impossible.

Rarely does the monkey let go. Sadly, it becomes a prisoner; the monkey is stuck on the ground unable to climb the tree to escape the trapper.

To make a Monkey Trap Jar, find a glass jar with a small neck. (Thrift stores are great places to find one for pennies.) Keep it near your computer or on the kitchen counter. Then on sticky notes or slips of paper, write all the things that you feel are “sweet treats” in your life as possible entrapments. 

This could include the expectations of appreciation, awards, and rewards that you are holding onto with a tight, clenched fist—a fist that won’t allow you to let go! It could be a lack of self-care and self-nurturing actions. It also might be a  habit that no longer serves your best and Highest good.

Consider adding to your jar once a day as part of your daily letting go ritual. At the close of a week or month, remove all the sticky notes and burn them with sage. You could do this privately or at a group…

5) Letting Go Celebration!  
Gather friends in person.  Light a white candle after saging the circle area. Maybe it's a dining room table. Allow each friend to write and share what or who they are letting go of and why. 

When everyone has spoken, go to another person until everyone has spoken all of their letting go statements. There might be several rounds. You’ll know that everyone is complete when there is silence. (You might want to burn the contents of the Monkey Trap Jar.)

To wrap up, listen to the Ho'Oponopono Prayer. Blow out the white candle.

If you are a woman in transition and feel called to take inspired actions, consider making time to embrace these five letting go rituals over the next 18 days. 

These five rituals will better help you remember what Rosita Perez suggested,“When the horse is dead, get off!”

P.S. Do you live in Tampa Bay? If "yes," your special invitations await you to my monthly writing and creativity classes and Day Trips! Visit Lore Raymond - Author I Speaker I Writing & Creativity Coach or my Author Amazon Author Page for details; gratefully, classes and trips are often sold out weeks in advance!

Copyright Lore Raymond, 2018.  No portion of the blog post or information on this site may be reprinted, re-used or copied to another site without prior written permission from the author.


  1. Thank you, Lore! I'll be sharing this and today I'll try the Pencil Drop.

    1. You're so welcome! Happy to hear that the Pencil Drop activity appealed to you.

    2. They all appealed to me! <3 The Pencil Drop is 'quick' so I'm sharing that one first. My next will be the Monkey Trap Jar.

      I have found it is most helpful to switch up the tools I use to let go (a bit like 'tricking' my ego for a minute). When I use the same tool over and over for a while, it stops working, and I need to surprise myself with something new or something I haven't tried for a while.

  2. You had me with Eliot's quote, Lore, it's one of my favorites. I love all the ideas for letting go and my favorite is dropping the pencil. I remember our Math teacher back in school who would solve an equation on the blackboard and then flick the chalk. As a 5th grader that was cool and we used to practice it but never quite got the hang of doing it with panache. I might have better luck with the pencil. :)

    1. Seems the Pencil Drop is popular! Good to know. Yes, pencils are less messy than chalk, Happy pencil flicking. LOL

  3. I loved all the letting go ideas Lore. I will be trying them out progressively. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

    1. My pleasure, Leila. Hope they serve you and maybe your clients.

  4. The Alphabet List sounds AMAZING! I am going to use this for a journal prompt. Thank you for the amazing ideas!

  5. I now have several pencils on my floor! That was empowering!

    1. Oh, you made me giggle, Barb! Happpy to hear. Now, what shape are your pencils in? lol

  6. Very interesting post, love the one about the rocks, it’s so true, rocks are very powerful, I have some next to my bed that were given to me and some that I found (or better yet, found me) they really help with energies


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